Many professional athletes in recent years have gone through high-profile divorces that ended in huge payouts. Some of them may be wondering why they never signed premarital agreements. And if they aren't wondering, others certainly are.
]]> Let's look at some of the most famous cases. Kobe Bryant, one of the most famous NBA basketball stars in the world, got divorced from his wife earlier this year. She likely got about half of his fortune, which comes out to about $150 million. They did not have a prenup.An estranged wife can often get half of an athlete's worth if they do not have some sort of marital agreement. NBA stars, on average, make more money than other professional athletes.
Tiger Woods would be an exception. It's not known exactly how much of a fortune he has amassed, but reports indicated that his ex-wife got about $100 million after they divorced. Some reports, which were later dismissed, had put the figure closer to $750 million.
Some athletes do sign prenuptial agreements, particularly if their spouse is a celebrity too. For example, when Lamar Odom married Khloe Kardashian in 2009, their agreement apparently stipulated that in the event of a divorce she would receive $500,000 for every year they were married, plus $25,000 a month in spousal support.
Planning ahead can make the outcome of a divorce a little less surprising.
Source: KSAT, "TheLaw.TV: Celebrity divorces show the power of the prenup," May 16, 2012
]]>There are several ways to help out a friend after a divorce. Here are a few of the things you can do to make a difference.
]]> • Be there to listen. It sounds simple, but just letting a friend talk about how they are feeling, or even crying it out, can help them the most. Reserving judgment and also offering encouraging words are also good ideas. However, making statements such as, "Aren't you glad to be rid of him?" are not always helpful.• Help out at the holidays. It can be a lonely time for a newly single person, particularly when they are used to traditions with a spouse. It couldn't hurt to invite them to your own family gathering. If they are feeling lonely, it can be a comfort to them, particularly if their own children are with their ex-spouse.
• Offer resources when it's appropriate. If you know a good therapist, a reliable realtor or a good career counselor, by all means make a recommendation.
• Offer to help with relaxation time. In a busy transition, when people may be worrying about selling their house or looking for a job, they often forget to do fun things just for themselves. Initiating a fun outing might persuade them to relax a little.
• Help out with everyday things. Volunteering to run an errand, cook dinner or babysit for a couple of hours can be more helpful than you know.
Source: Huffington Post, "What do divorcing women want and need?" Paula H. Noe and Betsy Ross, May 9, 2012
]]>One man, for instance, found what appeared to be a small flash drive in his young son's blue jeans that had apparently been sewn into the clothing by his ex-wife. He reportedly discovered that the device had recorded conversations between him and his son, as well as conversations with other people, including his attorney and therapist. He ended up filing a lawsuit against his estranged spouse.
]]> His situation is not entirely unique. With improving technology, it's easier than it used to be to get hold of small recorders or cameras. A click or two on the Internet, and such devices can arrive the next day in a box.That's the problem: easy access. That, and as one attorney puts it, "All this emotion, it cuts people's IQ in half," according to a Houston Chronicle article. Some people get so caught up in the emotion and bitterness of a split that they don't think about the consequences of their actions. That can be dangerous.
How would you react if you discovered that your ex had planted a GPS device in your car and could track your every move? Many people would sue. It's an issue that will likely arise more and more the slicker technology gets.
Source: Houston Chronicle, "Spy gadgets infiltrate divorces as domestic snooping booms," Mike Tolson, April 29, 2012
]]>Such issues would be tough for any marriage to survive. One couple that has survived these exact issues through 21 years of marriage, however, is now considering divorce.
]]> Was it the financial strain that got to the couple? The answer is yes, but not for the reasons that readers in Texas would automatically assume.The husband has been receiving government benefits that are based upon the couple's total income. However, though the wife has had her own medical problems, she recently landed a new job.
She barely makes more than minimum wage and has no benefits. She is thankful to have her job, even though the couple is currently living at poverty level.
Her income has affected their eligibility for government benefits that they relies on for their basic needs. This has led them to consider a divorce, so that the husband may become eligible for government benefits again. Though this couple would personally rather stay married than get divorce, they appear to have come to the conclusion that getting a legal divorce makes the most financial sense.
Divorce, like marriage, results in complex legal and financial changes for individuals and couples. The decision should be treated carefully and thoughtfully, especially in the present case where the couple seeks to take advantage of the government benefits system through the divorce. A competent family law attorney would likely advise them to consider the tax ramifications and whether or not it will actually be effective in achieving their goal.
Source: The Journal-Standard, "Divorcing to survive: Couple struggles in tough economy," April 21, 2012
]]>However, sending delinquent Texas parents to jail for failure to meet their child support obligations may not be the best solution. This is because once the parent is behind bars they are no longer able to earn a living and provide for their children. They also will not be able to spend quality time with their children, something that is generally not in the children's best interest. In addition, the cost of incarcerating a delinquent parent for back child support is expensive to taxpayers, and not a good use of resources.
]]> If jail is not the answer, how can children be assured that they will be provided for financially by the parent who owes child support? At the very least, advocacy groups for delinquent parents are urging a right to counsel. This may be a step in the right direction to keep these parents out of so-called "debtor's prisons."Another possibility may be to determine what the underlying problem is as to why a particular parent cannot meet their child support responsibilities.
Is it because they are currently unemployed with no income? If so, then prison certainly will not help, but skills and resources to help find a job just might.
Is the problem a drug or alcohol addiction? If so, then putting someone in jail will only be a temporary fix until that individual receives treatment.
The bottom line is that the traditional child support enforcement system is simply not in the children's best interest. Instead, advocates, families and the Texas court systems should work together to develop a plan as to how children will be cared for financially, resorting to jail only as a last resort.
Source: ABA Journal, "New Parental Accountability Court Helps Increase Child Support Payments While Cutting Jail Costs," Martha Neil, April 13, 2012
]]>This means considering the possibility of legally separating, filing for divorce, and reaching a child support and alimony agreement between the two parties. Having a legally enforceable agreement in these cases can potentially avoid problems in the future, and can serve as a legally enforceable contract if for some reason those obligations are not met.
]]> In 2010, Warren Sapp, a well-known former defensive lineman in the NFL was arrested on charges of domestic violence, and specifically one count of misdemeanor domestic battery. Those charges were eventually dropped by prosecutors because of insufficient evidence.Since then, Sapp has not only struggled with the law and his personal relationships, he has also been struggling financially as well, despite the fact that he has created for himself a lucrative post-NFL career as a TV football analyst.
However, he has substantial debt, including amounts he owes for back child support and alimony to four women who are the mothers of his four children. They have sued to enforce those obligations, but considering that he is strapped for cash he has been unable to make the payments.
Recently, he has filed for bankruptcy protection under the theory that his assets, valued at more than $6 million, will be liquidated in order to pay off his family obligations, along with other creditors.
Hopefully, once he exits from bankruptcy he will have his finances organized such that he will once again be able to meet his child support and alimony responsibilities.
Source: The Chicago Sun-Times, "Warren Sapp files for bankruptcy; assets include 240 pair of Jordans," April 9, 2012
]]>If communication between two ex-spouses deteriorates, it can lead to even more stress for everyone involved, particularly the children. An article in the Santa Monica Mirror offers a few tips for effective communication after a marriage has dissolved. Here are a few of them.
]]> • Try to communicate effectively if you can. You might be surprised how good your communication can be if you simply attempt to be courteous. Attempting to use phrases like "thank you" and "goodbye" might be a good start.• Keep the tone professional. Don't tell an estranged spouse anything you don't think they should know. Always behave appropriately, because anything considered inappropriate can come back to haunt you later. It may be best to avoid sharing personal information if that seems best.
• Think about the other person's personality traits. People often change after a marriage ends. But thinking about the way a person behaves and reacts could indicate the best way to communicate with them.
• Try to avoid constantly blaming an ex-spouse. By doing so, it sets them up to be defensive, upset or bitter, and that will only hinder communication down the road. It may be best to avoid phrases such as "You are" and "You did." The words you use can have an unintended effect on the person who hears them.
Source: Santa Monica Mirror, "Communicating with your ex after divorce," Andra Brosh and Allison Pescosolido, March 25, 2012
]]>They essentially work the same way as prenuptial agreements. They are contracts, which are legally binding, usually drawn up by attorneys. They address similar issues as prenuptial agreements, including child custody, support and assets.
]]> 39 percent of attorneys reported seeing an increase in cohabitation agreements over the last five years. In addition, about half of those polled said that about half of the issues they saw go to court involved live-in couples who were not married.If a couple intends to build a life together without getting married, including buying a home and having children, it makes sense that these agreements are becoming more common. If a person doesn't want to be liable for their ex-partner's student loans or credit card debt, such an agreement can be a good tool for protection.
States generally do not have cohabitation laws, which makes issues surrounding breakups among live-in couples somewhat fuzzy. Cohabitation agreements can draw a clear line as to how assets should be divided when a couple decides to split up. And as with premarital agreements, they can potentially save estranged couples time, aggravation and money.
Source: CNN, "Prenuptial agreements aren't just for married couples anymore," Jessica Dickler, March 20, 2012
]]>The documents were filed in Travis County, and the split was confirmed by a statement by the public relations firm representing the actor. The firm also noted that an amicable settlement was being worked out.
]]> According to the Associated Press, Buffington Quaid will keep the couple's primary Austin residence, while Quaid will get a nearby condo. He'll also keep a Cadillac, while Buffington Quaid will keep the couple's Mercedes.Buffington Quaid, a former real estate agent, is reportedly asking for spousal support and attorney fees.
There is also a temporary order in place that will allow them to share custody of the twins. In the near future, they will apparently enter into a written agreement regarding custody of the twins.
The babies made headlines shortly after they were born because hospital staff gave them an accidental overdose of a blood thinner, which nearly took their lives. The Quaids later sued. The actor said it was the scariest time of his life, and he later narrated a documentary about medical mistakes on the Discovery Channel.
Quaid, best known for movies like, "The Day After Tomorrow," was previously married to actress P.J. Soles from 1978 to 1983, and to actress Meg Ryan from 1991 to 2001.
Source: Washington Post, "Dennis Quaid's 3rd wife files for divorce in Texas after 7 years of marriage," March 9, 2012
]]>According to the Houston Chronicle, the man posted a rant about his estranged spouse on Facebook. Here is part of it: "If you are an evil, vindictive woman who wants to ruin your husband's life and take your son's father away from him completely - all you need to do is say you're scared of your husband or domestic partner."
]]> Even though he had blocked his ex from his Facebook page, she found out about his statement, and a domestic relations court wasn't too happy about it and found him in contempt of a protective order. The judge gave the man a choice: 60 days in jail plus a $500 fine, or he could apologize to his wife on Facebook every day for 30 days.The man says he felt that he had no choice but to do the latter. Now, he and his attorney say the order raises concerns about freedom of speech. Other free speech experts and attorneys are saying the same thing.
An attorney specializing in media issues and freedom of speech says the order is troubling because the court is essentially telling the man what to say to his chosen group of friends. According to the Chronicle, she says, "That anybody could tell you what to say to your friends on Facebook should be scary to people."
The man ordered to give the apology adds that if this can happen to him, similar decisions could affect others in the same way.
Source: Houston Chronicle, "Ohio man given choice of Facebook apology or jail," Lisa Cornwell, Feb. 26, 2012
]]>According to an article on NBC DFW's website, the man, a 40-year veteran of the department, worked with the family violence unit for about five years. During his time in the department, he apparently took home 2,200 case files so he could "work from home."
]]> However, it was recently revealed that he allegedly didn't contact most of the victims, and that 508 of them had experienced "re-victimization" when victims were hurt more than once by the same suspect. In many of those cases, the statute of limitations would limit any legal action.The detective allegedly entered only 16 cases into an internal system and filed 217 of them over the five-year period. After an initial review in 2009, the man was reassigned to the auto pound unit. He resigned last month as news of the investigation was released.
The deputy chief of the department says that she's disappointed in the detective's apparent mishandling of domestic violence cases, and notes that other officers in the unit are "caring people." She asked people not to lose faith in the department.
Unfortunately, the officer's actions may have silenced victims who struggled to speak up in the first place. The executive director of the Genesis Women's Shelter in Dallas tells NBC, "I think that when someone does step up and has that courage, it's incumbent on all of us to follow through with that."
Source: NBC DFW, "Dallas police detective quits after accusations of case mishandling," Feb. 10, 2012
]]>That sticky issue has been the subject of court disputes recently. One case went through the court system in another state before heading to the U.S. Supreme Court, which could have set a clear constitutional standard on the issue. Instead, however, the court declined to hear the case.
]]> The dispute involves an intact family with a mother, father and two children, according to the Christian Science Monitor. The kids, both girls, were close with their paternal grandparents. But a business dispute caused the parents to become estranged from the grandparents. The parents didn't want the grandparents to see the girls anymore.The grandparents, not surprisingly, were upset about this and took opportunities to make sure the girls knew they loved them, such as attending sports games and putting signs along the girls' bus routes. Eventually they petitioned the court for regular visitation.
At first, a judge granted them visitation one afternoon a week, but that was overturned on appeal. In a state supreme court, the parents' right to decide was upheld, and a state law regarding grandparent visitation was struck down.
Even though the U.S. Supreme Court will not hear the case, the dispute is not necessarily over. Laws in the state and others could be re-examined as people continue to ask the question, "When can a judge grant visitation to grandparents if the parents object?"
Source: Christian Science Monitor, "Do grandparents get visitation rights? Supreme Court declines case," Warren Richey, Feb. 21, 2012
]]>Mediators can help settle people's disputes with little involvement from the court. The idea is for the impartial third party to provide an environment that is free of tension or friction. A non-confrontational atmosphere is key in aiding people in reaching their goal of settling a dispute.
]]> For that to happen, the Huffington Post notes, divorcing couples must be prepared for the process. It can be difficult to negotiate when one's emotions continue to get in the way. Splitting up from a spouse is not easy, but the process of mediation will be easier if people try their best to cooperate.Mediators often are faced with guiding people away from negativity and negotiation hazards, which can be challenging when a couple is in the early stages of divorcing since it can be difficult for them to be reasonable when emotions run high.
When mediation is successful, it can save people a lot of time, money and energy. While it may not be the best option for every couple, it is certainly a viable one for some people. As the Post aptly sums up: "Divorce mediation is for reasonable people who cannot resolve their differences by themselves."
Source: Huffington Post, "What most people don't know about divorce mediation," J. Richard Kulerski and Kari Cornelison, Jan. 24, 2012
]]>With the Oscars scheduled for later this month, a Forbes article noted research that took a look back - way back - at the apparent trend. But even looking at the winners of the last few years, including Sandra Bullock, Kate Winslet and Hilary Swank, who have all divorced their spouses, it is easy to see the connection.
]]> The study looked at over 750 nominees in both the Best Actor and Best Actress categories from 1936 to 2010. Women who won Best Actress had a staggering 63 percent chance of seeing a marriage fall apart before non-winners. Male winners did not seem affected at all.One explanation is that men become threatened when their spouses become the breadwinner of the family. Studies have apparently shown that men who make less than their wives are more likely to have affairs, particularly when they are unhappy about their financial standing in the marriage.
Prenuptial agreements, or even postnuptial agreements for those already married, might be wise for women with successful careers. Planning ahead can protect their assets and save future anguish.
Not every winner of the Best Actress Oscar should be worried. There are always exceptions to the trend, such as Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep, who have enjoyed long, happy marriages.
Source: Forbes, "Why do successful women fall victim to the Oscar Love Curse?" Jeff Landers, Feb. 1, 2012
]]>While using Facebook as evidence can be more common in child custody cases than divorce cases, it can apply to all kinds of family law disputes.
]]> One classic example is a man who created a fake Facebook account for his estranged wife. He apparently posted fake updates and posts, manipulated racy photos and generally attempted to misrepresent her. After it was discovered what he did, she was the one who was victorious in court.In another instance, a man posted on Facebook about how he wanted to tape a picture of his child's mother to his punching bag. When the example was used as evidence, she won primary custody of the child.
Perhaps more often than Facebook is used as evidence in divorce cases, it is what sets off the divorce in the first place. It is becoming more and more common for social media sites like Facebook to be a means for people to initiate communication that leads to affairs.
While it may not be incredibly common for Facebook to be brought up in a courtroom, it definitely happens more than it used to. And it might make one think twice about posting something that can follow them for the rest of their life.
Source: Patch.com, "Facebook may be used against you in court, local lawyers say," James Myers, Feb. 1, 2012
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